Date Published: 2015-12-09

Top Ten Symptoms That You Have a Knife Addiction

Knife Addict
Knife Addict
By Adelia Ladson

Do you salivate when you walk by a knife case in a store and then stop mesmerized by all the awesome sharpness within? This may be a sign that you’re suffering from an addiction – a knife addiction. In studying folks who have the same addiction, we have put together a list of the top ten symptoms you should look for to see if you are addicted to knives.

Knife Addict Do you take your knife out absolutely EVERYWHERE?
Knife Addict Do you take your knife with you EVERYWHERE?
1. You have a knife in every room of your house, including your bathroom, plus vehicle glove compartment and your trunk. This doesn’t include the entire room designated to your knife collection.

2. Your thumb-stud thumb involuntarily starts to twitch if you don’t flip a folding pocket knife open at least once every couple of hours. So, you have to hide in the bathroom at work just to handle your knife.

3. When there’s a BOGO sale, you get the two knives intending to actually give one to a friend but you just can’t part with either one of them, even though they’re exactly the same knife. In other words, you have a lot of duplicates.

4. Your spouse sells a couple of your knives in a yard sale and you consider that immediate grounds for divorce. You are also completely confident that the judge will agree.

5. You believe the Second Amendment should be changed to “the right to bear arms and knives” – just in case.

6. Your favorite knives have names. Actually, every blessed one of them has a name because you don’t choose favorites.

Knife Addict Do you sleep with a knife EVERY single night?
Knife Addict Do you sleep with a knife EVERY single night?
7. You sleep with a knife underneath your pillow and, at times, it has been a naked fixed-blade. Also, at times, a potentially romantic evening has ended badly because you or your romantic partner has cut themselves on said knife, resulting in a trip to the emergency room.

8. You will use the word “knife” a few times in a conversation, even if the conversation has nothing to do with knives. Somehow, you’re always able to bring the conversation around to the subject of knives.

Knife Addict Do you sharpen your knife quite a few times a day?
Knife Addict Do you sharpen your knife quite a few times a day?
9. You only have time to eat, sleep and go to work because the rest of your time is taken up with sharpening and maintaining all of your knives. Although, sometimes, you do use your lunch hour to go out to your vehicle and sharpen a few of them.

10. The only way you’ll give up your knife is if they pry it from your cold, dead hands.

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